


Melting the Clouds

by Blackbird Song (Blackbird_Song)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Challenge Response, Character Study, Introspection, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 13:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackbird_Song/pseuds/Blackbird%20Song
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wishing on a star is illogical. Sometimes it works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Melting the Clouds

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the K/S Advent challenge of 2011. Lateness is due in part to some technical issues dealing with the images, but it's still Christmas Day where I was born. This story would not have been possible without LJ user abadea's wonderful art. I direct any praise and credit to the artist and both the pieces shown in the story. Click on the images for greater size and resolution. Also, many thanks to my husband for the beta.

>   
> _"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight."_
> 
>  _"Mother, is that not an illogical response to the first star one sees upon looking up?"_
> 
>  _"Perhaps, but give it a try."_
> 
>  _...._
> 
>  _"Humor me, Spock."_
> 
>  _"Very well. Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight."_
> 
>  _"Good! Now make a wish."_
> 
>  _"What is a wish?"_

Spock has not felt this degree of despair since he was a child. It is repugnant to him, a wasteful thought error that paralyses all productive thought or action and requires undue effort to correct. Meditation is dangerous under its influence. He'd seek out a scientific project upon which to embark, but he is falling to the ground as he exsanguinates. He has approximately two point four-seven-three minutes left to live, and has urgent business to complete before dying.

>  _Control._ Control. __
> 
>  _"Spock, you must control. Pain is just another sensory input that can be accessed through your central nervous cortex."_
> 
>  _"I'm controlling the pain, Father!" The physical blows do not hurt, anymore. It is T'Pring's contempt that suffocates my psionic center._
> 
>  _Father becomes more withdrawn. Mother has explained that it is deeply painful to him to experience temper tantrums. "Then what is causing your eyes to water? The house has been cleaned and decontaminated since your last bout of Niobian influenza."_
> 
>  _"It is humiliation," I blurt, further mortified by the outburst. I cannot look at Father's face. "I must prepare for the Kahs-wan." I walk away from him, and then I run._
> 
>  _I run until it is dark, and then I look up. I do not know why this one star captures my attention, but I am reminded of Mother's attempts to teach me how to 'wish' when I was four years of age. I cannot bring myself to recite the rhyme, but I find myself wishing for a compatible mate. Or a friend. I would very much like a friend._

"Captain Kirk! Message from Mister Stiles!" Uhura's voice cuts through the chaos on the Bridge.

"Not now, Lieutenant!" Kirk helps Sulu to his feet as Riley stumbles to the lift. "Sickbay! We have people fainting on the Bridge!"

"So do we, Captain! Just wait a minute—"

"Sir," Uhura cuts in, "it's Mister Spock! He's been shot!"

Kirk pulls up short. "Transporter Room! Beam up the landing party immediately! Medical emergency!"

"Aye, Sir!"

"McCoy, did you get that?"

"Yes, Captain! On my way!"

"All hands, this is the Captain. Clear all corridors and evacuate non-essential posts. Effective immediately, personnel not engaged in essential operational activity are confined to quarters until further advised. Kirk out!"

He turns to Sulu. "Mister Sulu?"

"I'm okay as long as I don't stand, Captain."

"Chekov?"

"I am all right, Sir."

"Uhura?"

"Fine, Captain."

"Stevens?"

"No problems here, Sir!"

"Chekov, Uhura, Stevens, stay on the Bridge until further notice."

"Sir," says Chekov, "my shift is over. I was going to get food—"

"Negative, Mister Chekov. Mister Stevens, you have the conn. Order sandwiches when you need them. Stay away from that – what was it you ate, Mister Sulu?"

"Stew, Captain. Don't know what's in it...." A vapid smile spreads across Sulu's face. "You're a pretty shade of orange, Sir...."

Kirk grabs Sulu by the shoulder. "You and I are taking a trip to Sickbay. Belay the sandwich order, Mister Stevens. Issue a priority alert on the food synthesizers and kitchen. Until we know what's causing ... this," he gestures at Sulu, "nobody eats."

"Aye, Sir!"

Kirk drags Sulu off the Bridge, none too gently. All he can think about now is that his best friend has been shot.

>   
> _Sam fell out of this tree. Mom says he'll be okay. I told Mom I'd find out what he slipped on so she'd let me climb it._
> 
>  _It's great up here, specially when it's snowing, but not too hard. Like now. It's not a really big tree, but it's the tallest one in our yard. When I'm this far out on the limb, it's almost like flying._
> 
>  _I look up into the sky. Dad's in Starfleet. I want to fly in space more than anything. Nobody in school gets it. They just want to get rich or take over the family farm. Mom wants me and Sam to do that. Sam wants to start a colony on another planet. I just want to fly._
> 
>  _It's getting dark. The clouds are getting thin. The snow's stopping. There's a star up there, poking through the clouds. I always tell Dad it's a supernova melting the clouds. I know it's Venus. I pretend it's a star. "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, grant the wish I wish tonight." I wonder if someone else is looking at a great, big star, right now, and wondering the same thing. It feels like I just made a wish, though technically, I didn't. I get a weird shiver, even though I'm not cold._

 

  
[   
](http://pics.livejournal.com/blackbird_song/pic/00050f37/)   


Kirk all but dumps Sulu in a corner of Sickbay and heads straight for Spock. "Blood tests," he orders the nurse, as he sweeps through. "There's something in the food."

Spock is surrounded by Chapel, McCoy and M'Benga. Their faces are grim. At least, McCoy's and Chapel's are. Kirk can only see M'Benga's back, and they're all radiating 'stay away'.

Kirk glances at the diagnostic panel. The readings are infuriating. He's never understood them for Spock, and McCoy's never explained them to him. And, if he's honest with himself, he's never bothered to look up the norms for Vulcans. He rationalizes that it's because he hasn't had the time, but it's really because he doesn't want to know. As long as he doesn't, he can still have hope when he looks at a reading he doesn't understand.

"Jim."

Kirk might have noticed McCoy's move around the bed and into his face had he not been so fixated on the panel. But then, he would also have seen the deathly pallor in Spock's face. "How is he, Bones?"

"He's lost a lot of blood. He's in a healing trance and M'Benga's working on him. It's about fifty-fifty, right now."

"He's beaten those odds before."

"He will again, if I have anything to say about it."

"But I'm supposed to get out of your Sickbay and let you do your job." It doesn't sound as in control as Kirk had meant it to.

McCoy squeezes his shoulder. "Yeah. And you should go to the Christmas party. They'll be expecting you."

"Oh! Bones, I almost forgot. Sulu's hallucinating. Something he ate. Run the tests and find out what it is! Nobody's allowed to eat anything from the kitchen or the synthesizers until then."

"Oh, that'll go over well with the crew!"

"Find me the stuff that's disabling my crew, and the Christmas party can happen. I'll even go to it. Give me good news about Spock and I'll ... wear antlers to it!" Kirk leaves before he can really embarrass himself with his feelings for Spock.

The interminable hours that follow include grueling investigations into the ship's food systems, landing party readiness and the hitherto unknown cultural imperative on Alpha Niobe IV to introduce their children to firearms at the age of four.

It culminates with the news from the medical lab that the substance causing loss of consciousness, unbidden euphoria and a sudden increase in number and size of retinal rods is a highly treasured delicacy called Nemba. All traces of the vegetable are removed from the _Enterprise_ , pending full chemical analysis.

At the end of it all, Kirk authorizes the use of the food production facilities and the Christmas party, even though the last thing he wants to think about is food. And, if he listens carefully to the strained voices around him, he hears their exhaustion and their fear of him in every word over the past more-than-half day.

He is in his quarters, drying off from a shower when he hears the hail.

"McCoy to Captain Kirk."

"What is it, Bones?"

"Thought you might want to know that Spock's going to make it."

"Is he out of the trance, yet?"

"Not yet, but M'Benga says sometime in the next twenty-four hours."

"Thanks, Bones."

"Anytime, Jim. See you at the party. With the antlers!"

Kirk groans.

"You've been a cantankerous bastard to everyone on board, Captain, Sir, and I'm gonna hold you to your promise!"

"I haven't really been that bad, have I?"

"I don't even have to answer that one for you, when you ask me in that tone of voice."

"No, I ... don't suppose you do. I'll see you at the party, Bones. Kirk out."

Every bit of fight and verve is suddenly gone from Kirk. He's exhausted, and all he wants to do is make his excuses and stay in his quarters to sleep. But after all that the crew has endured today, most of it from him, he owes them the opportunity to diffuse and defuse some tension. Besides, Spock would take him to task for breaking his word.

Kirk derives some satisfaction from knowing that Spock would also reprimand McCoy for making him keep it. He smiles.

At the end of the party, Kirk is gazing out the window of the rec room. Behind him is the chessboard that he'd love to have used with Spock, but couldn't. He's not going to believe that Spock's going to pull through until he sees the man walking and talking, again. And even then, he's going to have a damned hard time letting him perform his duty as First Officer.

He is so busy worrying, that he is forgetting to notice the supernova that sets Alpha Niobe IV apart from other planets in the region. It is vast, beautiful and far enough away to provide only a spectacular sight viewable from the planet and its surroundings. He can see why The Federation wants to turn the planet into a tourist trap. At least, he could before Spock got hurt.

And then a familiar scent drifts through him and he smiles with such relief that he dare not turn or speak.

"Greetings, Captain."

"Spock," Kirk says, when he can. "How are you doing?"

"I am functional, though I require rest. Doctors McCoy and M'Benga have invalided me off-duty for forty-eight hours, though I believe that to be excessive."

Kirk gives a faint laugh. "I think that's just fine." He shakes his head, very slightly. "I used to love the idea of first-contact assignments. But after today...." He collects himself. "You were shot nearly to death by a four-year-old child."

"As you have said so eloquently, risk is our business."

"Not like this. The crew poisoned and the best officer on the ship nearly killed just so the Federation can exploit the view of a supernova for profit? No. Not like this."

"I am not the best officer on the ship, Jim. But I understand your misgivings."

There is a pause between them. Kirk still hasn't looked at Spock. He's sure he'll lose it when he does, but he's not sure of all the reasons why.

"It is beautiful, Jim, is it not?"

"What?"

"The supernova."

"Yes. I used to wish on Venus back home. I'd ... pretend it was a supernova. Every winter after I was seven years old, I'd climb a tree in our back yard and pretend I was watching a giant star melting the clouds."

"Star light, star bright," Spock murmurs

It takes a long time before Kirk can say, "I didn't take you for a wishing man, Spock."

"When I was young, T'Pring was ... uncomfortable with our link. I didn't know at the time that the messages she was sending through it were considered a form of illegal bullying."

"Spock...."

Spock put a hand on Kirk's shoulder. "I could not discuss it with Sarek, so I ran until it was dark and wished for a compatible mate. Or a friend."

Kirk blinks, trying and failing to quell his emotions. "I ... used to wonder if someone out there was wishing at the same time as me." He turns his head, then. "Spock, I—why are you carrying a Santa hat in your hand?"

 

  
[   
](http://pics.livejournal.com/blackbird_song/pic/0005115p/)   


"Ah. I believe this belongs to you. It fell off your left antler."

"Oh, god...."

"Is there anything preventing you from removing your current headwear?"

"McCoy. I promised I'd keep this on until I got back to my quarters. Payback for being a 'cantankerous bastard' to the crew all day."

"Then ... might I suggest that we leave this place and continue our discussion in your quarters?" Spock's voice is filled with a promise that makes every fiber of Kirk's being tingle.

"I think that would be an excellent idea, Mister Spock."


End file.
